One word that means the World to me………

Fighting a disease that has no cure, no matter what it may be, means that you don’t know what the future holds.  You can only live life to the fullest and fight for everything you have.

That’s what I have been doing for 9 years now.  The first few were rough.  I didn’t want to fight, I didn’t want to care.   I went to a very dark place when I was in college, working three jobs and a full time engineering student.  So sick that I could barely stay awake some days.   It was a bad time for me.  I felt like I did something to make this happen, that it was my fault.   I would end up in the hospital and the doctors and nurses knew me by my first name, that’s how I lived the first 5 years of my life after being diagnosed with lupus and RA.   First name basis with the medical staff at a hospital because I was there almost weekly for one thing or another.  I lost all my hair, what many don’t know is I wore a wig in college.   I had to, because of the disease and the toxic medicine I had no hair.  Talk about another blow to the ego.   College students drink to have fun, I drank to make the pain go away.   I wouldn’t hurt and that was a relief for me.

Fast forward to where I am today.   I don’t have to drink to hide the pain because there is little to no pain everyday, some worse than others.   I am healthy,  word that I never thought I would say to describe myself.  I am active, maybe sometimes too active but I am active.  I get out and go all the time.   I love to race and push myself to see what I am capable of.

The ONE word that I never thought my doctor would tell me, even though I keep my head up and try to keep going everyday is REMISSION.

A simple word that is defined as:

  1. a temporary or permanent decrease or subsidence of manifestations of a disease.

A word that to many doesn’t mean very much to many people.  A word that unless you have a chronic illness means nothing.  But to someone with a chronic illness, that word is like a million pounds lifted off your shoulders.

I finally heard that word from my doctor yesterday, I do realize that my disease can become active at any point in time, but I am sure as hell going to fight with everything I have to make that not happen.   I know it’s still there.  But that one word is better than any of the accomplishments I have made, that one word proves that eating right and exercise can help you lead a better life.

Short and simple post…..the operation post from last weekend should be available early Saturday, I got permission to post 4 am ish.    And then will  be another post because I will go back at it again this weekend!!

 


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